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    [post_date] => 2026-01-13 18:45:25
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    [post_content] => 

With my veganism and other important belief systems in my life, I've decided that being imperfect is better than abandoning my morals altogether.

Three months ago, I ate a cheese pizza. This isn’t exactly headline news, but it mattered to me, because it broke a streak of many months, maybe years, since I’d last eaten dairy. I had been traveling and felt exhausted and defeated, and for whatever reason, the only thing that would soothe me in that moment was a real cheese pizza. I ate it, my tummy hurt, I felt bad. Then, I woke up in the morning and went on calling myself a vegan. 

It wasn’t the first time I’d faltered. Although I don’t make a habit of it, since going vegan seven years ago, I’ve eaten dairy a few times, including once, when a Shinto priest offered my husband and I two small cakes during a trip to Japan. (Vegan or not, it felt both rude and disrespectful to refuse.) 

These minor incidents could have been opportunities for me to give up my veganism entirely; proof that I’d “failed” or that my efforts were meaningless. But surprisingly, they've instead shifted my perspective: While I’ll never formally reintroduce dairy back into my diet, I’ve decided that being imperfect is better than abandoning my morals altogether.

Recently, I’ve begun trying to apply this grace to other guiding principles and belief systems in my life. There are so many things I care about that it can be difficult to do everything justice: the environment, disability, animal rights, poverty. Because of this, sometimes, it can feel as if living by any kind of set belief system is pointless, that our individual choices make no difference in the much larger fight. We are up against capitalism, war, the meat industry, violence, and some of the most anti-planet government policies we have ever seen. When you feel as if the world is crumbling around you, how much damage is an errant cheese pizza or Starbucks drink or Shein skirt really going to cause? But I believe this absolutism completely dismisses the power of our collective efforts to enact meaningful change, and how much we lose when we abandon our principles altogether. 

For me, my mistakes have become a recentering reminder of why I became a vegan in the first place: as a commitment to limiting any damage to the earth and its living things, beginning with what I eat. While I ate fish until I was 10, I have never eaten meat, something that used to shock people more than it does now. My mother was a vegetarian, and when I was four or five years old, I was given the choice to add meat to my diet, but I said no. By then, I understood that it came from the same animals I liked so much, making a stance of ethical vegetarianism feel easy: I loved pigs, refused to watch Bambi, and had never even killed a bug

Throughout my teens and twenties, as I gained new knowledge and autonomy, my beliefs continued to evolve. I donated to animal charities regularly and started to learn more about the environmental issues we are collectively facing, including how the meat and dairy industries are accelerating climate change. I gave up eggs at 13 and dairy at 19. After seeing a plaice at an aquarium, I vowed to never eat seafood again. This was in the ‘90s and ‘00s, when being a vegetarian (let alone a vegan) was far more limiting than it is today, and not exactly a popular stance. Even within my family, my mother’s choice to raise me as a vegetarian was controversial. During these years, I was ostensibly quiet about my vegetarianism, and took a similar approach when I became a vegan in my twenties. Luckily, Leicester, my hometown in the UK, has a large Hindu and Sikh population, so there were many vegetarian restaurants and supermarkets where I could eat and shop. But elsewhere, I often found myself defending my dietary choices, even when I tried my best not to bring them up.

Over the years, when asked why I ate the way I did, I’d simply say that I did not want to eat animals. But inevitably, people would push back, probing, for example, whether I would eat grass-fed beef or free-range chicken, assuming that if animals had better living conditions for their short lives, I’d agree their consumption was more “acceptable.” But their logic always posited the rights of nonhuman animals in opposition to the rights of human animals, and to me, they’re inextricable: To reject violence and exploitation means to reject it against all living creatures.

My vegan philosophy is continuously changing, but this core belief has not, even as its parameters progress. Lately, for example, I’ve been worried that eating mushrooms might be cruel because of the growing evidence of their intelligence. I’ve also become increasingly aware that other animals such as insects die as a consequence of crop agriculture. It’s difficult to know where my boundaries are, because my veganism is about minimizing harm, which means as I garner information, I reassess my choices. Still, I’m not perfect, because nobody is—especially when our food and agricultural systems make it near impossible to make faultless ethical choices. But my imperfection is also what allows my beliefs to evolve and adapt: Without room to falter, we can’t have space to grow.

Of course, I didn’t always see it this way. In fact, knowing just how difficult and conflicting our moral offerings can be, for a long time, despite mostly living as a vegan, I shied away from the label. I didn’t think I could live up to its standards and I didn’t want to feel any more cast out than I already had as a vegetarian. I couldn’t imagine giving up certain foods like cheese and chocolate for the rest of my life, and I felt embarrassed at the idea of falling short. But as my vegan philosophy evolved to leave room for faltering, I realized that my veganism could be an ideal to aim for, rather than a set state that binds me to guilt when I fail to meet it. Soon after, I encountered a Vox article titled “Vegans Are Radical. That’s Why We Need Them,” that both illustrated and illuminated this very point. 

The piece touched on something I have known my whole life: Vegans are unpopular. Part of the reason is because we shine a light on much of the general population’s cognitive dissonance when it comes to animals and food, which can be a slippery slope to exposing an individual’s broader moral hypocrisy. It also explains why, growing up, I pretended to be cool and apolitical about my vegetarianism, and later my veganism—despite both being inherently political. On the outside, I acted as if I didn’t care what anyone else ate or did, but I was lying. On the inside, I cared very much, and still do. 

The Vox piece also refers to veganism as an act of solidarity, which it is. By taking the stance that “animals are sentient beings with lives of their own” and imbuing “it into one’s body and everyday practice,” veganism relies on one of the most universal activities we all participate in to enact its politics: eating. But this stance of solidarity can put you at odds with those who ultimately don’t want to feel bad about what they do or eat—especially if you forgo quiet veganism, as I now have. The louder you are about your beliefs, the more you identify yourself with them, and the more shameful it is when you misstep. When I was quietly vegan, I had no one to answer to if I ate a chocolate bar in a moment of weakness. 

There is an assumption that, because I am loud about my ethical beliefs, I think that I am perfect and that everyone else should be, too. But this isn’t the case. Furthermore, this aspiration to an ideal while accepting your own shortcomings applies to other values or choices people may aim for, like eschewing fast fashion or boycotting particular brands or corporations. It’s also why our mistakes can so often inspire nihilism: If we can’t change the world on an individual level, why aspire to ethical principles at all? In the end, maybe it’s because our morals are personal, and when we stray from them, we have ourselves to answer to. 

When you care deeply about something, as I do, you want to solve the problem completely. And while I do not expect everyone to be vegan, I do want everyone to do what they can to reduce our collective suffering, whatever form it may take. This can feel insurmountable against the tidal wave of people, corporations, and governments that not only do not care, but seem to be actively campaigning to make the world worse than it is. But the good news is that even when you feel defeated or nihilistic, holding steadfast to radical beliefs is how we can push back. Because for every corporation lobbying against our collective well being, there is an organization or movement gaining ground or a small group of people somewhere fighting to make it better. Consider the huge wins achieved by activists against odds that once seemed impossible: improving factory workers’ conditions, regulating Big Tobacco, banning CFCs, and so many more. Small actions build into bigger and bigger wins.

Within my movement, I am inspired by those running small animal rescues and large organizations alike, from World Animal Protection and WWF to Sea Shepherd and the Animal Justice Project. Following and supporting the everyday work of farm rescues like Edgar’s Mission in Australia and Coppershell closer to home always fills me with pride. The work is often thankless, even when these movements achieve big wins, like banning animal testing in certain countries, recognizing animal sentience in the UK or ending whaling for profit. But the love that humans can have for a single lamb rescued from a slaughter auction, despite knowing they cannot save them all, always stops me from giving up. 

Reflecting on my own activism over the last 32 years, while I’ve never had the stomach to hold vigil at a slaughterhouse or put my body on the line in a protest, I have stood with people who do. Veganism is, at its simplest, an act of political boycott. I put my money where my mouth is, donating regularly to vegan charities and organizations and frequenting vegan restaurants, supermarkets, and brands. I’ve also co-founded an agency that supports vegan brands and non-profits with branding and copywriting. While it never feels like enough, it’s the only way I know to live my life. 

These acts of resistance against the system may be small, but they’re also part of a larger global movement to enact change. The meat and dairy industries have needed to reimagine their advertising to reflect customers’ consciousness, sometimes even tapping celebrity sponsors to polish their image. Some companies have also released plant-based alternatives and reduced their meat offerings. Many others offer buzzwords like “grass-fed” or “regenerative” beef, attempting to tap into diligent meat consumers, despite evidence that it isn’t any better for the cow or the planet. Still, these changes reveal a transformation in societal thinking, and hopefully, there will be more to come. 

When I take the long view, even of my own life, there are many more vegetarians and vegans today than there were when I was a child. What’s more, there are more vegan friendly options at restaurants and bars, and fewer eyerolls when you request something plant-based, because even non-vegans might enjoy their morning coffee with oat or soy milk more than they ever did with a cow’s. It isn’t only the availability of options, but shifting attitudes. It has been years since I have sat with a group of people in a restaurant and endured a probing about why exactly I’m ordering a plant-based burger. My choices just aren’t weird or interesting anymore, and that’s a wonderful thing.

When the world isn’t changing as fast as you’d like it to, and when you know the powers that be are against you and your politics, it can be so hard to try, and to keep trying. But the combination of relinquishing perfection, alongside pursuing community and solidarity with like-minded individuals, is how we fight on, slowly and clumsily, knowing there will be missteps. Staying on a path of reducing harm and aspiring to live by our ideals does far more for our individual and collective well-being than giving up after we’ve faltered. This is how we refuse to give into nihilism. This is how we refuse to let the corporations and militaries and lobbyists win. They want, or rather, need you to believe you can’t make a difference, and so you shouldn’t even try. But before we can begin or continue persevering in any radical change in earnest, we must first reject this lie, and continue to aspire to our ethics, each and every day.

[post_title] => Practice Not Perfection [post_excerpt] => With my veganism and other important belief systems in my life, I've decided that being imperfect is better than abandoning my morals altogether. [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => closed [post_password] => [post_name] => morality-imperfection-practice-veganism-vegan-diet-lifestyle-belief-systems-guiding-principles-individual-collective-choice-food [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2026-01-14 22:38:55 [post_modified_gmt] => 2026-01-14 22:38:55 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://conversationalist.org/?p=9811 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw )
An illustration of a girl petting a goat, with a hunk of cheese sitting in a window behind them.

Practice Not Perfection

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    [post_date] => 2025-12-03 18:41:15
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How women play a crucial role in the country's struggle against dictatorship.

Andreina Baduel, a 39-year-old activist from Caracas, Venezuela, had a happy childhood. Growing up with 11 brothers and sisters, she fondly remembers the love and support she received from her parents—how her father frequently took all his children to the beach, or out to dinner at their favorite restaurant. From an early age, she says, her father also instilled in them an appreciation for education, allowing her, in her own words, to "cultivate an intellect and become a better human being.” But at 23, life as Baduel knew it came to an abrupt end when her father was sent to prison. 

“My life came to a standstill,” she recalls. “It was a turning point in our lives that affected so many things.”

Baduel is the daughter of Raúl Isaías Baduel, a retired general of the Venezuelan armed forces and former defense minister under former President Hugo Chávez’s regime. In 2009, he publicly broke with Chávez over constitutional disagreements, and accused the then-president of becoming “increasingly authoritarian.” For his dissent, he was sent to prison for the majority of his remaining life, until his death in 2021. 

After her father’s imprisonment, Baduel became her family’s main source of moral support. The Baduel family has now been considered dissidents for nearly 17 years, and she also acts as their public mouthpiece—speaking out on their behalf, and ensuring their stories continue to be heard, both in their country and beyond. This has included aiding two of her brothers over the years, who were respectively detained, arrested, and subjected to torture and ill-treatment in prison, under both Chávez’s and current President Nicolás Maduro’s regimes. 

“We have been persecuted, harassed, silenced,” Baduel says. “[But] the truth cannot be killed, [and] faith cannot be extinguished. My father’s voice lives in every word we speak.”

Baduel’s story is not uncommon. Like many women in Venezuela, she is known both as the relative of a high profile political prisoner, and as an outspoken activist. Her advocacy on her family’s behalf also exemplifies how Venezuelan women play a crucial role in fighting against the country’s dictatorship, amid Maduro’s human rights violations and in the face of his “reelection” last year. (The win was deemed fraudulent by election watchdogs such as Transparencia Electoral, as well as the international community, including the U.S. and some of the country’s Latin American neighbors, like Brazil and Colombia.)

“Women have a very important role in the opposition movement; but also in sounding the alarm after last year’s election,” says a leader of a Venezuelan women’s rights organization, who asked to remain anonymous for safety reasons. Referencing María Corina Machado—one of the country’s main opposition leaders, who recently won a Nobel Peace Prize for her democratic struggle against the country’s dictatorship—the organizer says Venezuelan women have long “been a leading force and a leading voice” in speaking out about the government’s infractions, both at home and abroad. “[Many] women in exile and in the diaspora are also playing a key role,” she says.

This includes women like Violeta Santiago, a Venezuelan human rights activist and journalist who was forced to flee the country after receiving death threats by government-led armed groups. She now continues to write about injustice and the state of human rights in Venezuela from Chile. 

But at home, the risks are higher, both for those who speak out and those who don’t. Because of this, everyday women like Baduel have been forced to partake in this fight for their entire adult lives, defining the parameters of their existence from within the nation they call home.

First Arrest 

On the day Baduel’s father was arrested by the Venezuelan military, he was shopping with his family. None of them could have known that, except for a brief period of house arrest in 2017, he’d languish in prisons for the rest of his life. This included spending time in La Tumba, or The Tomb, a prison infamous for inflicting white torture on its prisoners. This torture is comprised of, but not limited to, isolation, a lack of access to natural light, constant freezing temperatures, no access to water, and nearly no food. 

In 2021, while detained in El Helicoide, one of Caracas’ most notorious penitentiary facilities, Baduel’s father died at 66, over a decade after his initial arrest. According to the official report, he died from “cardiac-respiratory failure” after contracting COVID-19. But his family believes his death was actually caused by neglect, torture, and ongoing health conditions sustained after years of imprisonment without medical care. Juan Guaidó, the main opposition leader at the time, publicly supported this claim on social media, and the United Nations called for an independent investigation. A separate UN fact-finding mission has since concluded that crimes against humanity have been perpetrated in the country, particularly in relation to political persecution and prison conditions. 

Through all of it, the Baduel family has remained steadfast.

“We knew our father’s imprisonment and death would change us from within,” Baduel says, wearing a t-shirt that reads “Ser Baduel No Es un Delito (“Being a Baduel Is Not a Crime”). “We understood it would either bring up the best of us, or the worst of us. And we decided to confront it with faith and hope.” 

Brutal Torture

Years before Baduel’s death, two of his sons—Raúl Emilio Baduel and Josnars Adolfo Baduel—were also imprisoned over conspiracy charges. Raúl Emilio, now 45, was detained while attending a peaceful protest in 2014, and released four years later. Josnars Adolfo, now 37, was detained in 2020 and sentenced to 30 years in prison, which he’s currently serving at Rodeo Uno, also known for its brutal torture of prisoners.

“He is imprisoned in a cell of two square meters, where he only has a cement bed and a latrine,” Baduel says. “They physically torture [him]—they beat him, suffocate him, and use electric [torture] on him.” She also says she’s only able to speak to Josnars for 15 minutes each week, from behind a glass wall. “They want to annihilate him, and make other prisoners scared of what awaits them,” she says.

Despite facing an onslaught of harassment, death threats, and government surveillance, Baduel plans to keep fighting. Recently, she received support from The Inter-American Commission on Human Rights, who granted her precautionary measures “in the belief that she faces a serious, urgent risk of suffering irreparable harm to her rights to life and personal integrity.” But while there is still no guarantee that her rights will be respected under the current regime, Baduel believes that she and the many other women stuck in the same fight as her are “a fundamental pillar” in defending human rights in Venezuela. “I am the voice of my family,” she reiterates, ”and of all the victims of this regime who are in prison, and who cannot speak for themselves.” 

Constant Fear

Sairam Rivas, 32, is another Venezuelan activist fighting for a loved one who she says was unjustly imprisoned by the regime: Her partner, Jesús Armas, 38, has been imprisoned since December 2024. 

Rivas is also a former political prisoner herself. In May 2014, while attending Caracas’ Central University of Venezuela for social work, Rivas, then a leading student organizer, was a part of a public camping protest in the capital’s streets. They were speaking out against the militarization of public space, and protesting the recent deaths of multiple young protestors at previous demonstrations. Along with 200 other young people, Rivas was arrested and later incarcerated at El Helicoide, the same prison as Raúl Baduel. With support from her university and international NGOs like PROVEA, Amnesty International, and Foro Penal, she was released after five months, unlike other young people detained that day, some of whom she says were imprisoned for up to three years. 

“But the [political] situation then was different to what it is now,” Rivas says. “Back then, we could hire private lawyers, and there were no forced disappearances of dissidents.” 

A photo of Sairam Rivas standing in front of a glass wall. She is wearing a white t-shirt with black text that reads, "Liberen a todos los presos políticos."
Sairam Rivas. (Photo courtesy of Sara Cincurova.)

She also says she believes the only reason she was not subjected to sexual violence and torture is because her imprisonment was “very famous.” “As a student leader, my case had a lot of visibility on social media among young people,” she explained. The notoriety of her case did not avert all ill-treatment, however. “We had to sleep handcuffed on the floor,” she says. “We were threatened to be transferred to harsher prisons and face torture if we continued to protest in the future.” 

A decade later, on June 10, 2024, Rivas would experience a new horror: Her partner, Jesús Armas, was nowhere to be found. Neither she nor his family had received any information about him for seven days, only to discover he’d been “kidnapped” by the government. 

Armas had been a part of María Corina Machado’s campaign team, and as punishment following the 2024 election, he was detained, interrogated, imprisoned, and then tortured by Maduro’s regime.

“At this moment, Jesús is still isolated in El Helicoide, and doesn’t have any contact with me or his family,” she says. “The feeling of fear is [constant] in Venezuela, but you cannot think about it because then you become paralyzed.” 

Rivas is acutely aware of the pain many Venezuelan women experience, not only as prisoners, but often, as the caretakers and public resistors on their family’s behalf. But she also notes that many Venezuelan women are transforming this pain into action. As she sees it, beyond activism, women must also take on key roles in the opposition, as Machado has, and lead movements that will restructure the civil and political order destroyed by the dictatorship. “Women have a crucial role to play in the construction of a movement of families of political prisoners—a movement that not only fights for their freedom, but also for the creation of historical memory, so that justice can be done and [similar] crimes are never repeated,” she says.

A Venezuelan university professor of social sciences, who also requested anonymity for fear of retaliation, echoes Rivas’ assessment that it is a particularly scary time. She tells The Conversationalist that “every [new] day has become a possibility of chaos.” But despite the enormous risks, women across the country continue to fight however they can. 

“After having spent my entire active life as a professor at the Central University of Venezuela, it is very difficult to keep my mouth shut when I see how [our] country is being destroyed,” she says. “But when you open your mouth, [the government] can come and look for you—regardless of whether you are young or old, or whether you live in a middle class or lower class area.”

According to the professor, women’s rights violations have a long, multifaceted history in Venezuela. “More covert at one time, more open at another, more hidden in some places, more open in others—it is permanent and constant,” she says, adding that political prisoners are always treated worse than other prisoners, especially those detained for democratic activism.

Still, fear of imprisonment has not silenced opposition to the government for some, despite the potential cost. As Machado recently wrote on X—while still living in hiding within the country's borders––in the face of a brutal dictatorship and the suffering, torture, and extrajudicial killings it has caused, Venezuelans have continued bravely forging a “formidable civic movement,” overcoming the barriers “the regime built to divide us.”

For Baduel, the years of persecution, and witnessing her family members being tortured, also forced her to confront a personal choice: “to become the best version of myself, or the worst.” 

Despite her suffering, she says she deliberately chose to cultivate her humanity, something necessary in the continued fight. “I decided to transform my life for the better, not for the worse,” she says. “To fight for justice in Venezuela; to demand accountability, and to build a historical memory for my family and all those who were tortured.”

[post_title] => The Fight to Free Venezuela's Political Prisoners [post_excerpt] => How women play a crucial role in the country's struggle against dictatorship. [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => closed [post_password] => [post_name] => venezuela-dictatorship-activist-adreina-baduel-raul-isaias-caracas-prison-political-persecution-sairam-rivas-jesus-armas [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2025-12-16 08:26:28 [post_modified_gmt] => 2025-12-16 08:26:28 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://conversationalist.org/?p=9814 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw )
Venezuelan activist Andreina Baduel talks upon arrival at the headquarters of the Scientific, Penal, and Criminalistic Investigation Service Corps (CICPC) in Caracas on December 16, 2024. Andreina is the daughter of General Raul Baduel, an old ally and former minister of Hugo Chavez, who died in prison in 2021 after breaking with the government. She has dark brown hair, parted to the side, and is looking above the camera, with one hand raised as she gestures while speaking.

The Fight to Free Venezuela’s Political Prisoners